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If you read this blog, you may get the impression that I’m some kind of “America, Fuck Yeah” patriot who’s going to grab a flag and march into war for my people. The truth is, I’m sick of this place and I’m just about ready to get the hell out of Dodge. Let me explain.

I like Trump because the government hates him, not because I think he’s about to rescue us from certain doom. He’s exciting and funny, but he’s still a politician, so there’s zero expectation of him keeping his campaign promises. He didn’t last time, but at least gas was cheaper. Besides, he’s only got four years left, then we’re back to the usual lizards in snakes’ clothing that skitter around Washington. Even if he fires off a coup d’état and installs himself as Dictator for Life, he might get 6 years before he’s as geriatric and useless as the current guy.

Never forget that politics is just another form of entertainment. Too many people become convinced that the next election is going to decide the fate of Earth for the coming millennium, next thing you know, they’re frothing at the mouth and screaming at their own friends in public. It’s just a ride, people. You’re allowed to get off at any time.

I’ve been thinking about getting off at the next station for a while now. The COVID pandemic shattered my illusion that we’re all living in the freedom-loving bastion of liberty. The few of us who saw through the Pharma industry’s lies were ridiculed and insulted for two goddamn years. Now, the world knows that we were right the whole time and I’m still waiting for my apology. It wasn’t enough that the American people gleefully did everything they were told by the government and its corporate backers. No, they went to bat for the bad guys. There was no need for secret police because we were openly policing ourselves.

Then I watched how the government, supposedly the freest and most perfect system ever devised, behaved in COVID’s artificial aftermath. A fake election where the Ruling Party installed their own guy. The opponent has been dealing with bogus criminal charges ever since. People who protested this got charged with “insurrection” and sentenced to decades in prison. Meanwhile, any influential journalists who call attention to it are fired, censored, and had their assets frozen. Anything the government can’t legally do vis-a-vis the Constitution, they just get their corporate pals to do for them. We’ve privatized communism. It doesn’t matter who holds the sickle if you’re still being squashed by the hammer.

“Politics is downstream from culture,” said late journalist Andrew Breitbart. That means that you should take the political state of things as a symptom, not the disease. Look at the people of a country and you’ll see what it’s really made of. Americans are obese and addicted to crack. They watch television at all hours of the day. They won’t meet you for beers, but they’ll send you memes from their couch. Most of them are socialists, blissfully unaware that this septic religion leads to genocide 100% of the time. Even the free market doesn’t seem to work around here. Everything of value gets swallowed by the mighty jaws of money management firms. Nobody else could afford it. Hell, when God-Emperor Trump fell under the censorship hammer, he built his own social media platform. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Nobody used it. The free market spoke, and the American people couldn’t have cared less.

I want the United States to do well. Not from a patriotic standpoint, but because I live here. All my friends and family live here. I want to live in a place that is free, successful, and fun. I don’t have any concrete plans to leave, but if the United States is going to act like a South American dictatorship, I may as well take my chances in a South American dictatorship. So, on August 11th of this year, I’ll embark on a 25 day journey to the distant lands down below.

Part of it is vacation. Part of it is casing the joint. Most of it is feeling that call to adventure gnawing on my testicles, so I may as well throw the first two things on the agenda. Maybe you’re feeling the same way and daydreaming of getting the hell out of here, too. Just keep reading Spud Underground and you’ll get a sense of what it’s really like down there. Maybe it’s better. Maybe it’s far worse. Maybe everything is awful everywhere, and the only place worth living is on the surface of the sun. All I know is that I don’t trust anybody so I have to see it with my own eyes and ears.

Whether I find any answers or not, it’s going to be fun as hell. I’m traveling Spud style, not to usual tourist traps, because I’m not interested in visiting a postcard. You’ll learn more about that when we get there. In the meantime, I want to give you guys brief introductions to the countries I’ll be visiting, why I’m visiting them, and if I think they’ll be going anywhere in the coming years. While the United States seems to be locked in a Port-O-Potty about to tip over, South America, of all places, might just be on the the ups. I’ll explain in articles to come.

First, I want to do the same thing with the country I was born and raised in, the good ol’ U.S. of A. There’s a lot to love about this place, but there’s also a lot to hate. It’s about time I got mean, so stay tuned.

Stay Dangerous, My Friends

-RJ