Hello, Spud Fans. Welcome to week 2 of This Week In Spud. Our first order of business on this edition of the newsletter is that I’ve changed the name. It sounds better. We’re two weeks into this idea and still working out the kinks.
This edition is mostly political. This is new for Spud Underground. I’ve avoided politics in the past because I’ve always had more creative ways to offend the world than by supporting one old guy over the other. It’s just not a hill I’ve ever wanted to die on. I’m interested in politics because I’m interested in culture generally- and politics is a function of culture.
Imagine politics as a storm drain. Ideas flow between people walking along the street, and the runoff makes its way down into the storm drain. If the people of a given culture have shit taste in music, or bad ideas about economics, or hair-brained notions regarding social justice, these ideas trickle down into the storm drain and become politics. That’s why it’s so important to have dissidents in a society, because it creates an alternative trickle of runoff for that storm drain.
That’s a great metaphor that I just came up with off the cuff. I may expound on that later. In the meantime, let’s point and laugh at a couple of old guys being overly religious in order to win votes. Then we laugh at a nerd who stole millions of dollars and discuss why you should never trust a nice guy. Our hot chick this week is a random painting and our album is Signos, by Argentine new-wave band Soda Stereo. After that, I’ll shut the hell up about Argentina for a while.
Hope you had a great Easter, and stay dangerous my friends.
-RJ
TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY
Christianity is sooooo 2023, and thank God that Joe Biden came in to declare March 31st as Trans Day of Visibility. This sparked obvious outrage from Christians across America, because March 31st was also Easter. Christians are hunting for eggs, the transgenders are trying to get rid of theirs. This should have been an easy compromise.
This Trans Day of Visibility has been on March 31st every year since 2009, but for some reason President Alzheimer decided to endorse it this year. The Christian reactionaries seem convinced that this was a deliberate attack on their faith. Maybe it was. Maybe the White House just forgot that Easter even existed. Both are equally likely, if you ask me.
Here’s what I observed, working a shift at my neighborhood bar that night. We were the only bar in the neighborhood that stayed open on Easter, so all the trans people and their loser allies came in and partied until their Adderall wore off. I’ll bet that none of them had even heard of Trans Day of Visibility until Biden offered this milquetoast declaration, and they were only partying to rub it in those Christian’s faces. Neener, neener, OUR religion got recognized by the government this year! Too bad for them, all that spite went completely unnoticed because the Christians stayed home.
THE TRUMP BIBLE
Donald Trump has endorsed a neat new book called The Bible. The God Bless The U.S.A. Bible is available now for only $60. This project was put together by a country singer named Lee Greenwood, who I’ve never heard of until now, and endorsed by Ol’ Mr. 45 himself. This King James Bible comes with copies of America’s founding documents like the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, and the chorus of Lee Greenwood’s hit song.
I’m disappointed that this isn’t really a Trump Bible. According to the FAQ, Trump’s likeness and endorsement are all part of some corporate deal “and can be revoked at any time.” I would definitely pay $60 for a Trump translation, though:
“In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth. And they were wonderful, believe me. Nobody creates Heavens or Earths better than me.”
SPOILED BRAT RUNS CRYPTO SCAM, GETS 25 YEARS IN PRISON
Sam Bankman-Fried, founder of the cryptocurrency trading platform FTX, was convicted of 7 counts of fraud and conspiracy and sentenced last Thursday to 25 years in the slammer. FTX was a big deal because it was a globally recognized brand- they had sponsorship deals with the NBA, praise from major financial institutions- all while the fat nerd in charge was doing drugs and throwing sex parties (allegedly) in his Bahamas penthouse with customers’ money.
I made a lot of money off of the FTX collapse. I never held any of the FTX coin and I never kept any money on the exchange. My own holdings were only barely exposed to the disaster, and I did that on purpose. I avoid centralized exchanges like FTX and Coinbase as much as possible, because I believe that trusting another entity with your money is the complete opposite of what cryptocurrency is for.
Solana, a personal favorite of mine, was exposed to the collapse. FTX was holding a lot of it when they went under, which hurt the price. I never sold. Then, Sam endorsed Solana from his jail cell, and the price tanked to about $9. I bought up a ton of it then. Today the price of SOL is about $180. Thanks, Sam!
I’ve been saying this for years- NEVER TRUST A NICE GUY. Nice guys are all for show. They need to be liked and will do whatever it takes to make that happen, including stealing money from their company and flushing billions of dollars down the shitter. When Sam Bankman-Fried was the darling of the crypto industry, he was always talking about his philosophy of “effective altruism” and how great it is to be a “moral” billionaire. This is all a lie, even if he believes it. Altruism is never rooted in what one can do for the community, but in how one wants to be viewed by the community. Real philanthropy is very quiet, usually pretty low-key, and given directly to people who need it rather than corrupt firms. It also goes unnoticed about 90% of the time.
HOT CHICK OF THE WEEK
This is a painting by Peruvian artist Alberto Vargas. He was famous for his pin-up paintings and gained fame by contributing to magazines like Playboy and Esquire in the 40s through the 60s. He also did the cover of Candy-O by The Cars. I was on a deadline, sue me.
ALBUM OF THE WEEK: SIGNOS BY SODA STEREO
Soda Stereo were a new wave band formed in Buenos Aires in 1982. We haven’t heard much about them in the United States, but they were big. Really big. The best-selling band from South America ever big. The first Spanish-language band to headline a U.S. tour big. Even today they’ve got billions of streams on Spotify. They’re pretty damn good. I get strong Tears for Fears or Talking Heads vibes from them. It blows my little brain that they were as big as those bands, at the same time as those bands, and I’ve never heard of them until now. My favorite album is Signos, so that’s the feature this week. ■
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