I’ve heard it called refinement culture, where everything looks the same because it’s the cheapest to produce. Company A makes cheap garbage and advertises it to you. Company B copies Company A’s business model because it works. Now the cheap garbage is even cheaper because it’s being mass produced, and Company C buys it for that reason. When cars first came out with fake leather interiors, nobody wanted them. There was a massive advertising campaign to convince everyone that fake leather was the hot new thing, and it slowly caught on. Now, every car is made with fake leather. Real leather used to be the norm, now it’s a luxury option.
Don’t kid yourself that you’re “more in touch with reality” than these corporate influences, because like it or not, those are the forces that change culture on a mainstream scale. Even small scale artists fall into this trap when they worry about what “the scene” thinks of them and end up making more faux leather just to avoid being canceled. It’s the same attitude, but in preserving their reputation instead of their bottom line. When everything around us is faux leather, we forget what real leather looks like. We get so used to sweaty asses on nasty plastic that we end up celebrating it, and the cycle continues forever.
The end result of all of this is, “everything sucks these days.” It’s a meme. We’re all in a permanent state of nostalgia. Every movie is either a reboot or the umpteenth installment in some cinematic universe, written by committee and produced cheaply to be pumped into your favorite streaming swamp like an oil spill. Even “new” music you hear on the radio is the latest album from Depeche Mode or Dave Matthews Band, who are making the same stuff they were decades ago. Every building is a concrete middle finger reaching aimlessly into the sky. Every coffeeshop is a copy-paste from Pinterest. Every new thing is derivative.
Beauty is NOT optional in life. It provides hope and inspiration against the inevitable decay of all things. Our faux leather world is so ugly that we have no choice but to find that beauty in the past. This is why Led Zeppelin, who haven’t released new music since 1979, have billions of plays on Spotify. The original Looney Tunes from the ‘40s are still the gold standard of animation today. Room-sized paintings from the Renaissance are still seen by millions of tourists every year. Even Stoic philosophy seems to be rising from a 2000 year nap these days. Time is the ultimate destroyer, and the better something is, the longer it takes to succumb.
So, this month, Spud Underground is bringing you a whole issue of the oldest joke in the book. Dick jokes have been around as long as dicks have, which logically means that they are the funniest. Read all about how to regrow your foreskin, how not to break your wiener, the history of dildos, a schlong drawing contest to win free show tickets, and a coloring page! We’ve also got some musical non-penis content in the rear, so don’t worry.
Stay dangerous, my friends,
-RJ
SPUD UNDERGROUND IS BETTER IN PRINT.
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