Spud media

A shower drain is where you find hair, and this column is where you find hair metal. The feature this month is Tesla’s 1986 debut album Mechanical Resonance. There were a few months in high school where I thought this was the greatest album in the world. A more recent listen confirms my suspicious that I was retarded at 15. There is absolutely nothing special about this album. The lyrics are vapid and fall short of saying anything worth hearing. The guitar solos are the same recycled arpeggios played at different speeds. Modern Day Cowboy, the band’s biggest hit, is the only saving grace on the whole album. That song is a sneak preview of Tesla albums to come, in which they figured out that it takes brain power to write good music. I don’t want to shit on Mechanical Resonance too much; it’s campy and fun. It just sounds like it was made by teenagers, forced to barf out an album by predatory 80’s music execs.