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Ranking albums is a staple of music magazines. Every major publication has done a list like this, ranking all the albums in a given data set based on highly scientific metrics such as: influence, sales performance, and editor’s financial interest in the album’s label. We here at Spud want to be taken seriously as a music magazine, too. That’s why we’ve ranked the 10 Greatest Albums of All Time. After much bickering and deliberations, we broadened the scope to 15.

Now, you might ask us, “Hey Spud, if you’re a punk magazine, how come there isn’t more punk on this list?” To which we might reply, “shut up.”

15. The Shape of Punk to Come by Refused

Refused started the trend of hardcore bands being shameless assholes. The whole point of this album was to make something so technical that nobody would listen to it, because they thought punk was becoming too mainstream. If it’s mainstream, it ain’t punk, or something. The result was The Shape of Punk to Come, the jazz-influenced progenitor to mathcore. A couple of these songs break the 8-minute mark and have long rhythm & bass sections. It’s really cool. Punk didn’t keep this shape for long, because the band split up after its release.

14. White Light, White Heat, White Trash by Social Distortion

I always feel bad for bands who’s biggest hits were covers. That’s got to be frustrating, right? You spend all this time crafting a unique sound, now you’re stuck playing Ring of Fire for the rest of your life. Even when you’ve got an album like this one. It’s not really a Mike Ness story-of-my-life, more like a reflection of the shit he had to go through to get where he is now. It’s terrific punk rock with a lot of heart and it goes to some pretty dark places.

13. Legends of the Shires by Threshold

Threshold has built an impressive catalogue over the last 30 years. It almost seems wrong to pick their most recent album as one of the greatest of all time, but truth be told, it’s the one that gets me in the feels the most. It’s got a loose theme of things not working out the way you wanted, but moving ahead anyway. Every song has something new to offer every time I listen to it, because they’re all so dense with feeling and musical talent.

12. Paradise Lost by Symphony X

Michael Romeo is a musical genius, and his shredding makes Malmsteen look like Springsteen. Paradise Lost is packed with pulse-pounding metal attached to inspiring, allegorical fantasy lyrics. The album itself was inspired by and named for an old poem. Everything about it should be annoying, but it’s original enough and FUN enough that I can’t get enough of this album.

11. Ire by Parkway Drive

I like fry growls as much as the next guy, but if that’s all you’ve got, it makes me think you aren’t a good singer. Parkway Drive is a rare case where that’s all they do, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Winston McCall’s vocals are metalcore through and through, with lyrical prowess and cadence that reminds me of old-school hip-hop. The guitars are brutally heavy yet catchy; add some piano and acoustics into the mix and you have something very melodic and beautiful.

10. American Idiot by Green Day

The first two measures of this album are iconic, and the rest of it totally shocked the world. A political message at a time of political turmoil, the originality of a punk-rock-opera, the way the lyrics paint a picture of the classic punk lifestyle and the illusion of changing the world that comes with it, all told through metaphor and allegory with a well played four-chord soundtrack. It blends together into something that had never been done before or since. It’s the album that introduced me, and everyone my age, to punk. Even my dad was singing along to these songs back when they dominated the radio.

9. Fashion Nugget by Cake

I didn’t board the Cake train until recently, but I had this album on repeat for weeks when I did. The music is very rockabilly, complete with horns and some synths added in. John McCrea’s vocal cadence and lyrical wizardry sound more like a beatnik than a rockstar, which is really cool and unique. They’ve got songs about all sorts of things, but this album is mostly cars and girls.

When I think of love songs, I think of soaring vocals and power ballads professing adulation for some chick, which is about as gay as a guy can get and still date girls. Cake’s love songs are more rooted in reality, with themes like “She keeps flaking, so why do I keep trying?” or “she’s only boinking him for his money.” It’s like red-pill rock n’ roll.

8. Ænima by Tool

Every Tool fan hails Lateralus as the best thing ever made by humans (Fibonacci sequence! WOW!). Ænima is the same music but with lyrics that you can enjoy without a psychology textbook. These songs are more angsty, still brilliantly written, and with a touch of humor and sarcasm to them. It’s just as technically impressive as their other stuff, AND it’s more fun.

7. A Means to No End by Destrage

Destrage is a mathcore band from Italy, and they might be the most underrated band in the world. Each member is so proficient with their instrument that they could be giving lessons to Dream Theater, yet they chose the path of fun instead of pretentious 15-minute Iron Maiden rip-offs. For technical lightspeed metal with a punk rock twist, plenty of thought and emotion with no brakes, all sung by a guy who sounds like Super Mario, check out A Means to No End.

6. Slave to the Grind by Skid Row

Skid Row is a hair metal band that your dad probably forgot about, but they started as a punk band. When they got signed to Atlantic, the label said “Sorry guys, punk isn’t selling. You guys are hair metal now, here’s your new singer and your songs.” The debut album is what they’re most known for, but it sucks balls. The band was given more freedom and got back to their roots with their sophomore Slave to the Grind, bringing the teeth that they weren’t allowed to use on the first one. And boy, does it BITE.

Most of the lyrics were written by Dave Sabo and Rachel Bolan, but frontman Sebastian Bach really knows how to sing. He puts those brilliant lyrics to good use, capturing the band’s anti-establishment disdain with a heavy metal twist.

5. Promised Land by Queensryche

Queensryche improperly gets lumped in with hair metal bands a lot, so they don’t get the credit for how smart their music really is. Promised Land is very unique. It starts out as some of the band’s heaviest stuff yet, then chills out from there. The title track is slower, but still a long and somber beast of a jam. Lyrically, we’re all over the place. We’ve got a song about crazy people, a song about never being who you expected to be, some classic Queesnryche anti-government stuff, and an all-piano ballad about become someone better at the end. Promised Land is a 90-degree departure from the 1990’s successful Empire, and people don’t like change, so Promised Land kind of got forgotten even though it was their best-selling album to date.

4. Feathergun by Rishloo

When I introduced this album to my friend’s friend, he said, “This is what I wish TOOL sounded like.” Feathergun is the ultimate psychedelic rock, and was made by a band that seriously lacks the recognition that they deserve. I read once that they had to split up when one of the members had to move for his day job. That’s right folks, a band this good still have day jobs. Life is not fair.

I love long riffs in odd time signatures, and this album delivers. Most of the time the music is clean and mellow, but they aren’t afraid to delve into borderline metal when the time is right. The lyrics are truly poetic and cover themes like petty fighting, tripping, religion, and war. Every track is as mind-blowing as the last.

3. The Mountain by Haken

Haken invented jazz metal with this album. It is staggeringly technical, yet it’s heavy enough to make your head spin. Haken pulled out all the stops when they wrote this, making it weird as hell and so much fun to listen to. Glazed on top of the music is the insane vocal talent of Ross Jennings and an uplifting message of chasing success and overcoming challenges before you.

2. A Farewell to Kings by Rush

This album is the flyover country of Rush’s timeline, released squarely between 2112 and Moving Pictures. That’s a bummer, because Xanadu and Cygnus X-1 are some of this band’s finest work. The lyrics are all brilliant, from the title track to the largely forgotten Cinderella Man which always gets me charged up. Even Madrigal is a short, sweet love song that gives you a much needed break before your journey into a black hole at the very end.

1. Menace to Society by Godspeed Psychonaut

Just kidding, that’s my old band.

1. Use Your Illusion by Guns n’ Roses

Did you know that the greatest rock band in history didn’t even make it a decade? The inner turmoil of a band held together with Scotch tape by their label is what makes this album so special. I could write a whole Spud issue about the history of this band, this album, and the tour that followed, but for now I’ll just focus on the music.

Use your Illusion I is mostly made up of songs that were cut from Appetite for Destruction. It’s heavy, fast, and irreverent with a strong emphasis on rhythm and guitars. Use your Illusion II on the other hand, was the new stuff that they had been working on in 1990-91, and it reflects a certain maturity that the band gained after 4 insane years of touring, drugs, and controversy. This half of the album is artier and smarter, with a stronger emphasis on keyboards and message. Both discs showcase the unbelievable talent of this band, who brought rock n’ roll back to it’s bluesy roots with a fresh injection of rudeness.

It feels like cheating to top this list with a double album, but the two halves are inseparable. It’s the only double album in the world that I don’t get bored of halfway through, even though it clocks 2.5 hours back to back. It’s the magnum opus of my favorite band in the world. I’ve even got the artwork tattooed on my arm.