Spud media

by Michael Hodges

In honor of Women’s History Month, I wanted to tell you all about how amazing my girlfriend is. I love her to death, and I’m so honored that she’s stuck with me for all these years. I don’t know what she sees in me. I’m proud to be her man. Please enjoy my open letter to the love of my life.

Darling,

You’ve let me live in your house rent-free during this last year-and-a-half that I’ve been looking for work. You haven’t even rushed me because you understand how difficult the job market is these days. It doesn’t stop there; you pay for my food, my clothing, even my beer. You have gone out of your way to keep me happy and comfortable, and I love you for that.

You’ve made my life the envy of every man. While most men are out there in the work force, stressing out about getting ahead and other things that don’t matter, I stay in. I drink beer and listen to podcasts all day long. I give much needed pets and love to your dogs and cats whenever they come calling. I sleep until whenever I like and go to bed when I’m tired. I’m free from the schedule of the corporate rat-race. You aren’t, but I’m more than happy to snooze on the sofa in the living room while you do your work-from-home. Imagining the soft, warm tone of your voice taking calls always brings a smile to my face, and I sleep like a baby.

I love you so much that I live on your schedule. When you feel like going for drive or a vacation, so do I. Every new hobby you try and every new food you taste, I’ll be there beside you. We never have sex anymore, but that’s OK because I know that our relationship is so much more meaningful than just physical. It doesn’t even bother me that my friends never want to hang out anymore, because you are all I need to be happy.

I love you, baby.